hello everyone,

Just trying to keep everyone in the loop. I went to Good Hope Hospital this afternoon with  a member of church as my minder: a good job she did too.The appointment was with the oncologist  a delighhtful lady. Here is what I have been told.

The pain in my right leg is definitely caused by the tumour on the nerves in my spine. I can hardly put the leg to the ground and I am having to use a stick to walk..

The amount of painkiller that I have been taking was not enough. I was trying to stay awake!! Now it's 2 15/500 Cocodamol 4X a day and 400mg ibufrofen 3X a day!!! That's a lot. I,ve asked people to poke me if my eyelids close.

Then I am to have something for my bones (can't remember its name) once a day an hour before breakfast. This has all sorts of side effects and if I can't cope with it I can have 2 infusions a week apart at QE. Then there is a pill to take once a day to protect my tum from the previous drug!!

Oh and the Arimadex once a day.

I am about to draw up a rota of what and when!!

The breast care nurse is going to arrange for the lymphoma to be treated.

Then I am to have a shot of radiotherapy where the tumour is on my spine probably in a week's time..

Just to add to my problems I have lost the top of a tooth and I can't start the bone med until after the dentistry as the 2 don't go together.

Oh dear, teeth are bad enough without added complications..

 

I was going away for the inside of next week in the caravan, but I'm thinking I'd be better here with so much going on. I've got plenty to do. This Saturday I am taking a wedding and the Saturday after a Wedding Anniversary Blessing. I'm working out how I can do this with a lot of sitting down

Well, there you are, folks,

In God's hands and those of the blessed NHS

Beth

by the way, does anyone know what this plant is?.yes it is a plant not a snake!

A thinking walk

Today we had summer!! Yesterday the weather forecasters said it would be a lovely hot day , but it never arrived here. So yippee today it's warm and bright. Actually that wasn't too useful as I went to the hospital to have a glaucoma check up ( I know - falling apart) whch involved  drops to open up the pupils. Ow - was it bright. I drove home in wrap around dark specs like a Hollywood diva - very carefully.

The reaon behind the title is that Buffy,my 13 year old Tibetan terrier had been on her own for 4 1/2 hours and was desperate to go for a walk. As the sun was warm and made  our arthritis  (yes, that's another one!!) feel better we were content to hobble along and just enjoy being out.

I love gates and little paths, they speak to me of new openings, new happenings, progress, knowledge and excitement, expectation of something special.

Now this isn't quite  a gate - more an opening.It's exciting,looks safe with a soft smooth path behind it drawing you in. Just like some things in life which look easy, no risk, probably not much effort. But look further on -it's dark and mysterious under the trees. It could mean difficulties ahead, troubles, risk. It's entering into the unknown. Perhaps it's as well we don't know what is ahead in our journey through life. Wouldn't it be dreadful not to have some excitement, some risk? Equally, it might be good not to have to enter the darkness and potential misery. Maybe though we couldn't avoid it.

Now this is definitely a barrier. Good old 5 bar gate, really meant to keep animals in  - or out! But - -please note the low bar at the end of the gate allowing safe and easy passage round the gate. Do we sometimes not spot the easy way round a problem. We just go on hitting our heads against the proverbial brick wall or 5 bar gate. Do we have to go over the difficult way in our problems or can we get round them? See how lovely the grass is , how lovely life is beyond the gate. Perhaps a little time to sit and think (or pray) first.

Now that'a good path, slighhtly uphill with no idea what is over the hill. I like journeys like that in life. As far a i can tell the bit over the hill looks lovely., promising.

Now that looks  even better. A bench to rest on, a signpost and some shade...isn't this what we all need on our life's journey whoever we are. Somewhere to rest and think, somewhere to look for signposts and to act upon them and a place which shelters us from some of the world's dross and complications.

I hope you find a good gate with a gentle path and somewhere to rest and ponder..

Till the nexr time
Beth

Holidays when sumer does finally cumen in

This is a bit of a wallow in nostalgia.( Funny word. made me doubt my spelling!) It will come to a sudden end as the sun has started to shine regularly and there are things to do outside like stain the decking and sit under my new parasol and have coffee and read my Tablet (named Philip)

On the way to Wastwater, Cumbria. - that's my car known as "blue bus" on the right!

Those who managed to read my blog Sumer is icumen in before it was vapourised wiill recall some rather splendid Cumbrian views. I'm not going to try to recreate that. Let's have a look at some more views and Caravan Club sites.
I don't have a big enough car to tow, so I rely on Number One son to take the caravan away. He doesn't trust his car much although the weights etc are fine, so we take it to a site that has storage and leave it for the season . For the last couple of years it has been at Carsington Water near Ashbourne, Derbyshire

This was taken from the rear of the van looking through the trees to the reservoir

This is Blackwall Plantation. It was almost like camping in the wild but the facilities were great. It only took an hour from home so we went quite often.

This is before the site filled up but there is always plenty of room

Recently the site was updated with a splendid washroom, better facilities for familes and disabled. Great site and so many places to go to. In Cromford just down the road they are using some of Abraham Darby's dark satanic mills to make a heritage centre with studios, antiques etc. It' s a lovely place if you don't want to travel too far and Carsington Water a short walk away with bird watching, sailing and an exhibition by Severn Trent - hands on - and  of  course great play parks.We've nowhere near exhausted the places to visit but thought we might try somewhere nearer the sea - so we are now at Rutland Camping and Caravan site near Oakham.

.

This however is still about 2 1/2 hours from Hunstanton. That's what happens when you live in Middle England.I've only been to stay once and that was from Easter Monday for 3 days and it was bitterly cold with the snow still lying on the fields and roadside. I did have frozen water one morning. When I arrived the site was nearly full but by Tuesday evening there were only 5 vans on an enormous field the size of 2 football fields. It was quite frightening at night when the wind got up;little light on the field so taking Buffy for a comfort walk about 2 o'clock in the morning was not nice to put it mildly!.

Signing off now. I've acquired a lunch date with a friend from school many years ago. So i'm now going to take my grand daughters to school and then spend a few hours glamming up! (not really)
Until the next time
Beth

Sorry

I'm horrified to find that the post I took ages to do called sumer is icumen in has disappeared!  I must have deleted by mistake and can't find it anywhere.I am mortified. More care next time!

Beth

That was a good day

Sunday was a good day. My elder son was busy marking exam papers, his wife was working, so I took the children to church with me. They were sooooooo good. It was a family service so the percussion instruments were out with a vengeance. As it was Trinity Sunday there was the usual problem with explaining the Trinity with lots of visual aids and at one point when the preacher was getting a in bit of a mess with a kettle, a voice from the back (I think her husband!) said loudly " You look like Tommy Cooper".
Afterwards we went to play on the common among cowslips, buttercups and dandelion heads/clocks.
At three o'clock we went to the Vicarage for a tea party to celebrate the Vicar's 60th. It brought back memories of my 60th in a Vicarage garden. Such a happy day! My birthday is in December, so I took a leaf out of the Queen's book and had an official birthday in June on an absolutely scorching day!
 

Just in case we forgot!!

Our Vicar likes photography so his present was an album (do we still use them? ) and a digital photo of us all in church that morning..My present was to swap services with him next Sunday so that he can go away!!

Funny how memories come flooding back so easily. I have pictures of that day, my 60th but that was before the digital camera era so I can't show them.The setting at the Vicarage was idyllic  and remains so  but feelings chage and that was before Mum died, foot and mouth and distressed farmers, and then the first bout of cancer. Although that was difficult because of the length of treatment, chemo (why do we shorten it - to make it sound more friendly like uni and telly) and radiotherapy and the ferocity of the drugs I always felt something was happening and treating IT. A complete hair loss (no eyelashes) was most uncomfortable. and you have to have the bone structure of Sigourney Weaver to have a bald head and look good.).

as I said in aprevious blog, It was held at bay, told I was clear for12 years. This time however I am reliant on a little pill once a day. I am finding it difficult to get my head round that. No cure, but treatment. which seems so minimal. My younger son, who comes with me to hospital and charms all the staff says I need to think of it as something BIGGER and offers to make a lead lined cabinet, with a ginormous lock which needs metal cutters and thick gloves to get in to it. Make a drama of it!!

Well think of me at six o'clock every evening with my version which is to toast the pill in hot blackcurrant and swallow it with great ceremony. I'm trying hard. Also building up a regime - as I get tired I have lunch (ceremonially!!)

My kitchen and sanctuary - tidied up for the occasion!

at 1 o'clock, followed by half an hour with Doctors (BBC 1) and 5 mins with Escape to the Country (BBC1) before falling asleep. This happens in my kitchen/ diner where I spent most of the winter, bcause it is nice and warm with the kettle and TV close at hand.
Anyway, sun is shining and the birds are singing and I feel in need of coffee and toast. No ceremony about that- just hunger!!!
Till the next time.

Beth

sumer is icumen in? Really?

catch up

Well that's it then. Definitely cancer and no chance of surgery as the tumour has attached to the bone. I'm on Arimadex which is HRT to
stop my body making oestrogen and feeding the cancer. A week on Tuesday I go to see the oncologist and I do hope and pray that she will be able to treat me.

Well, no more of that. One nice thing while at the hospital was live music - a pianist who changed from Bach to Berlin to Beatles seamlessly. It was amazing as the whole waiting area was stilled and calm.

What's been happening since? Apart from telling people, I've had my family round on Friday for supper as usual with my three granddaughters eating half a macaroni cheese (a recipe for 6 adults. They are 5 years old.) and half a side of salmon. I'd rather keep them a week than a fortnight as my Gran used to say. But at least it is good food. Next Friday I think they are coming for a sleepover. Oh dear!

Talking of music, I woke in the early hours on Friday morning to find BBC 4 playing away to itself on my TV with an amazing programme about Wagner's Ring Cycle.The conductor talked about the need for a special kind of female singer whose voice could cut through the orchestra, about the story line in each separate opera, making it quite simple!! and how Wagner made the orchestration fit with the action. There was of course something about anti-semitism and some pictures of Hitler. The architecture of the new concert at Bayreuth was an eye opener too as the orchestra was under the stage, couldn't hear the singers and had to rely on the conductor's beat, while the singer had to be slightly ahead of the beat for it alI to come together. i also learned about the number of  contemporary with Wagner composers who went to hear or see the first perfomance at Bayreuth. I always tend to think about composers in isolation but there was a whole rack of famous names including Tchaikovsky. Well done BBC4. As I wake a lot in the night,I find it a real life saver, but not much of a sleep inducer as it is so interesting.

People are being very kind to me when they hear my news and my house is full of flowers, a bright pink pelargonium which brightens up my rather brown living room and an amazing collection from the Wholeness and Healing group at church with a handmade card.

Certainly dresses up the kitchen! I'm going to post a picture of my kitchen next time. My favourite room! finishing now and going to buy some lupins which I believe are bee friendly. Can't see many bees coming out in this cold weather. Then this afternoon I want to listen to the debate on marriage for all, That won't do my blood pressure much good.
Until the next time
Beth